Gossiping Bitches, Tent Dwelling, and Adult Phone Consultants

Because I’m such a mouthy independent witch, the pet grooming job in Florida didn’t last but two months. I was out of my mind with misery. Wouldnt it figure that when I finally decided to work for someone else, that person ended up being a gossip monger. This woman talked about anyone and everyone, including her husband. I knew dirt on all the employees and their families. She would do it with them in the other room, or behind their back in the same room. Unlike her other employees I was close to her age and I suppose she thought I didn’t mind, until I told her I did. I told her, in front of her husband, that the gossip was horrible.and I didn’t feel as though I belonged there. I felt like an outsider.

If one can not be honest, one is not strong. I can’t work for someone whom I can’t respect and trust. Because of that uncomfortable situation, it made it even more difficult to deal with aggressive dogs when they would come in. In many groom shops dogs are held down, despite the risk, and FORCED to be groomed. This is NOT my way of dealing with animals. I prefer to take twice or three times as long and get the animals trust or send it home. My boss and I decided it best if I put in my two-week notice and go my separate way. Now I am setting up a Nite Flirt adult phone consultant line. Screw it, I’ll be an adult phone consultant. I have what it takes lol.

I am the type of woman who says what she means. I give credibility to the phrase ‘brutal honesty’. It easier to hurt you now than to explain why I lied to your face for months. I learned this lesson many many years ago after cheating on someone I deeply cared about. The cheat was not what hurt him, it was the lying. I learned a lesson that day, and taught my children if they tell the truth the punishment will be a fraction of what it will be if they lie. Gossiping behind someone’s back and laughing in their face is, in my opinion, lying. So much bullshit could be avoided if we tell people the problems we have with them. Especially if we break it down so they understand that we like them despite the flaws.

I was unsure of what city I wanted to live in when we got to Florida in June so we decided to take advantage of the beautiful county parks that cover this state. I’m a queen so of course I had to have the biggest tent I could find. I became a Glamper.

We started with a good-sized Ozark Trail 10 person tent Goddess Sadie loaned me. I have a 40 inch flat screen, a 30 inch flat screen, my desktop, my laptop, and two Xbox systems (one for me, one for him) plus my clothes, my toiletries, my books, my rice cooker and crockpot and my coffeemaker, a large table and metal drawers.

Before it was over I had a 20 foot tent with a 60 foot tarp over it to offer me a back porch and for more rain protection. I had large tropical print water-resistant woven mats outside the front and back, a charcoal and a gas grill, and a Yeti cooler. The tent itself took up the entire camp site. It was glorious. Campers would stop by and ask if they could take a look at our setup. It was truly something to be proud of. We enjoyed it so much. Making love under the stars, the wildlife, the sound of rain on the tent, being bad ass enough to camp in June, July and August in Florida heat….I could have kept it up all year if it were not for the mosquitoes and mold, whom are bigger cunts than I.

Eventually we opted for finding a tiny dwelling and moved into a quaint little place not far from pretty much everything.  It’s another day in Paradise…or would be. We’ve not had time to go to the beach. Can you believe that shit? Me either.

After leaving the grooming salon job I had to do a mobile grooming road tour, which included a week in Georgia. The car had transmission issues, my boyfriend has odd working hours, and I’m learning the ins and outs of trying to ‘work from home’ and make a living that does not include full-time grooming. Am I freaking out? A little.

I got my desktop worked on, bought all the necessary equipment, had a phone line installed, and the first thing I see when I go to sign up for the first legitimate company is that they do a complete background check. Uh-oh. I have a felony from 24 years ago and a misdemeanor from 9 years ago. I am not sure if I’ll pass. Crap! This situation leads me to the fail proof option of adult phone operator. I’ve done it before, over a decade ago. It was decent money, given I have low overhead, but a pedophile called me and I deleted my account. I’m going to make a go of it again. I really had SUCH a good time when I was doing it before.

Oh, it’s my birthday today! Happy birthday to me. I made black bean noodles and we are having thin mint ice cream.

Happy September Guys!

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Phoenix has been good to me

We arrived here on the 7th of May, I believe, and today is the 24th. I will be leaving on the 28th if all goes according to plan.

The tires are cracked and the brakes are squeeling. I’ve been doing in client home mobile grooming and that has provided my son and I with Grocery money and gas money. It also provided me with the awesome opportunity to see Sedona, which is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen and holds a lovely powerful vibration that rejuvinated me and charged me from within.

Almost everyone I’ve come in contact with, especially the pet owners of the dogs I’ve groomed, has begged me to stay.

I have to go to Georgia no matter what because all my things are there, my daughter is there, I have a grooming business there. But could I make things come together and move here? I have a job offer in Tampa florida. They are holding the position for me. Can I handle the humidity in Florida? I am uncertain. I love Tampa. My retreat “All World Acres” is there. My reiki master owns it and I go to as many events as time and money will allow. I always wanted to relocate there. But I know no one in the city.

I am torn between Tampa and Phoenix. Georgia I still love but I am drawn away from it like a straying lover.

I found the best Korean market I’ve ever been in here. Seoul Market, a little place but has pretty much everything H mart in Georgia has, just crammed packed on the shelves and on the floor. I was in heaven when I walked in. I thought, what is my excuse now? I have practically everything I need here. Sun, Friends, Opportunity, Sedona, and Korean Markets.

Been a long time…

I have not been on this site in a long time. It seems I’ve lived an entire lifetime since I last posted.

I had a bit of a nervous breakdown with mom being there with me.

I packed whatever I could get into my Nissan cube and I just left.

I tired starting my business up in the next county over but mom found out where I lived so I moved again.

That’s not the only reason but it’s one of many.

I have been living with some friends, renting a room and grooming in the garage.

I miss privacy

I miss being naked

I miss red bean buns

I miss my life

I do have a nice friend whom I see very regularly now. Didn’t think I’d ever date on a regular basis again and he’s BLONDE with BLUE eyes, if you can believe that.

I’ve got 6 months to save up to get us a place. It’s rained non stop in Georgia. Every day it rains I loose three hundred dollars. Cold hard truth. I have not paid a car payment in two months but the insurance and everything else is up to date. I am short on money. So very very short. But I am away from that crazy pill popping mother of mine even though I had to pretty much run for my life.

My sister is having her labor induced Sunday and mom will be there. I am too much of a coward to go up there. Or I am too wise. Either way,  I stay off facebook and it’s been quite a relief, not being at my family’s beck and call when it comes to mother. I gave her the better part of my life. I have done enough.

Its time for me to focus on MY daughter now and making sure she does not end up like mom. She needs my focus and support and a healthy place to live. I don’t know where that will be yet but I have faith something will come together. I get up every day, I wash my face and get dressed, and I go to work. That’s all a woman can do.

LAZY ASS PET PARENTS

I hope this post will make you think twice when deciding what breed of puppy or dog to get when searching to fill that spot that a dog probably isn’t going to fill anyway.

Reasons NOT to get a dog

  1. You are famous for keeping up with the Jonses. The Jonses have a yorkie. You MUST have a yorkie! You don’t bother to google the breed, you hop on over to INBREDS R US and buy a yorkie. Because you didn’t research the breed you didn’t know toy dogs are hard to potty train. You can’t understand why it’s pissing all over the house while you are at work. It’s 3 months old now! You regret your decision because it’s so damn stupid. You buy a cage and leave it in there while you are gone 8 hours every day. You wind up with a dog who lays in piss all day and no one can stand to touch it. Because it smells like a sewer you are not close enough to see the ammonia is causing the eyes to run constantly. The dog has an inch thick brown scab under both eyes that bleeds every time the groomer bathes it. After the groomer hands you your dog everyone in the shop exclaims how little and cute your dog is. You walk out of Petsmart beaming with pride. For two days everyone loves the dog, until it pees on the floor again. God you hate that fucking dog! Back in the cage it goes.
  2.  You see Oprah on TV with a cocker spaniel. You MUST be like Oprah. You don’t bother to google the breed, you just grab your keys and head to the local skank backyard breeder and talk them down $100. You don’t ask questions,  You just want a cheap, expensive looking accessory you can walk around the park with your gigantic genuine fake Coach bag bouncing on your hip. You wind up with a fat 40 pound diabetic dog that you leave in the back yard because it smells like rotten milk and diapers.  You take it twice a year to get it shaved down and call it a day. Because you did not research the breed, you did not know that Cocker Spaniels need a high protein no grain diet due to allergies that cause their eyes to run constantly and their ears to stay infected and swollen from yeast. Because they scratch their ears, the yeast spreads to the feet causing them to swell. Now the dog doesnt like to walk. It lays around matted and stinking, rotting in the back yard. It eventually goes blind and deaf because if you’d known you were going to have to take the damn dog to the vet every other month, you would never have gotten the smelly bastard in the first place.
  3. Your sister in Florida got a shihtzu. You are so sick of your sister bragging about how playful and adorable her dog is.  You don’t bother to research the breed. You head over to craigslist and get what the lady (who conveniently doesn’t have the parents on site) tells you is a champion bloodline IMPERIAL shihtzu. She even has PAPERS. You plop down $800 and text your sister that you just paid $800 for an IMPERIAL shihtzu with PAPERS. Yay you! Your groomer tells you that your chihuahua mix is adorable. You are outraged that this woman can’t recognize a champion breed when she sees one. You tell her you have papers. The groomer apologizes, and they all laugh behind your back when you leave.
  4. You seen a bad ass celebrity with a Mastiff on television. You want a Mastiff so that you too can look like a bad ass. You hop on over to the flea market and buy a bull mastiff out of the back of a pickup truck. The guy in the baseball hat missing both front teeth tell you that they got all their shots and pedigree papers but they forgot them at home. you leave your phone number with them and never get that promised call. You wind up with a 130 lb Coonhound German Shepherd Mix who sheds all over the house so you keep it in the yard. It winds up with Hip dysplasia and a tendency to knock you off your feet as he takes off to follow a scent and chase the tires of a car passing by as he bounds away.

REASONS TO GET A DOG

  1. You and your partner sit down with the kids who have been begging for a family pet. You think of the pros and cons of having a pet and decide a dog would be best because you want a companion for the children, a protector for the house while you are asleep and at work, and you know the kids are old enough now to be responsible for helping bathe, feed, and walk it. You talk about these responsibilities. You talk about breeds. You all get a voice on what breeds you are interested in and you go to the library, the bookstore, or the all-knowing Google and research each breed. You look up puppy training, genetic traits, grooming needs and diet. You look at your budget and decide how much can go monthly into dog ownership and choose a pet insurance plan in case of the unexpected. You vote on a breed you all agree suits the needs and wants of the home and will become a part of the family, for better or worse, for hopefully the next 15 years. You look up reputable breeders who specialize in only one breed. The breeder will have both parents on the property. The breeder will have proof of at least three generations back genetic disorder testing and bloodline. You know from the research to look at the gums, the ears, the rear end, and the undercoat. The breeder has a shot record available for you with the name of the vet who has been treating them. You head home with a healthy puppy. It is now in your hands to train and love and keep him safe.
  2. Your family does all the above with the one exception that you agree that there are too many unwanted puppies in the world and you want to give an unwanted dog a new leash on life. You go to the pound and visit at least twice the dog you have chosen to bring home and make a part of your family. You have brought the kids, family cat and other dogs you may have to see how they interact. You realize this type of situation will take extra love and training because you dont know what kind of life this dog has had but you are willing to do what ever it takes to show him that he is not trash to throw away when you are done with him. If he poos on the carpet or eats your shoes or barks at the wall, you are willing to change your behaviours or get a trainer to help you work through the issues until they are finally resolved.

SPENDING THE NIGHT WITH A STRANGER

There’s a woman I don’t know in my living room. It’s 12:06 am.

I’m exhausted from grooming all day. I’ve got 4 boarding dogs here also, which added extra activity to the day.

All week I’ve looked forward to my last grooming dog going home tonight so I could start cleaning. It’s been a super busy week so I’ve been unable to clean other than to just shop vac hair up and keep going. There is dog food everywhere from the dogs kicking their bowls over in their kennels. I need to do two sinks full of dishes. I need to clean the toilet and swiffer the entire bathroom free of dog hair which is in the cracks of the walls, on the light fixtures, etc. I was looking forward to doing all this and then taking a wonderful shower in my clean tub free of dog hair. And then someone knocked on my door at 9pm tonight about 10 minutes after my last grooming dog went home.

The guy next door asked a girl to come over but he was not home when she got there. She’s from another county about an hour away. She has no car and no phone. She paid her last 10 bucks to have someone bring her out here. It’s raining, and the neighbor is not home. She asked to use my phone to call him. I’ve met her once before so I decided to let her in. She called him and texted him and about an hour later he responded. He’s at a party high off his ass and is making no sense.

She’s upset and she’s crying and finally I calm her down. I tell her everything happens for a reason and sometimes our higher self intervenes and prevents us from being in a place where something might happen. She is rational now, yet obsessed with why he did what he did, what is he going to do now, when is he going to get someone to bring him back, how can she get a ride to where he is at…thank god my son has my car.

The guy next door is a jerk. That is an understatement. He’s a fucking asshole who beats dogs. I’ve been over at his place in the last three days doing reiki on his Pitt Bull and administering doses of tart cherry juice. The dog tore through the door screen and ran after someone walking up the street so my neighbor caught him and apparently held him down and punched him so hard in his back hip that it tore the muscle. The rear thigh muscle is so swollen and tender the dog can barely walk. Today his ankle swole up as well. He doesn’t have money to take the dog to the vet. The dog is mean and needs training but no matter what advice I give the guy he doesn’t take it, he just takes my free reiki and holistic medicine. This guy is the type of guy that makes a killer out of a puppy. Poor dog. The day I went over there to check him out for broken bones the dog  was growling at me and showing a bit of fang. I claimed his territory by staring him down and slowly backing him into the corner, then stood there talking calmly to his owner about the ‘accident’. Finally I was able to squat down next to the dog. His tail started wagging. After about 20 minutes I had checked him over and got him to open his big jaws for me to squirt a medicine dropper of tart cherry juice down his gullet and that’s all I could do. I left feeling helpless. I can’t call the cops or the pound because the dog is fear aggressive and once he bites he will be put down. Maybe it’s for the best? It’s not my call.

I worry for this girl. She is angry the guy isn’t here. I find a gentle way to suggest she may want to calm down before she talks to him because she does not know the circumstances of why he got stuck at that party. I can’t tell her I’m afraid he may hit her if she gets demanding and loud due to him letting her down. I can’t tell her that his punch is so hard it ripped the thick powerful muscle of a PittBull and I’m afraid of what that punch could do to her face. I can’t tell her that I can’t get involved in domestic situations because it hits too close to home. All I could do was ask her if she was hungry. She was. Desperately. I told her I all I had ready was Kimchi and rice and she said she did not know what that was but it sounded awesome. So I fed her, and she loved it. We had sliced Asian Pear and she took a picture of it with her phone for some reason. She told me alot about her life. Her mother killed herself when the girl was 17 and her life has been a downward spiral since then. She’s 21 and does not know what she is going to do. I tell her I did not start my life until I was 30 and she can do anything she wants to do.  I don’t have cable but I put on “The Host” DVD and came in here to smoke a cigarette and gather myself.

I want to take a shower and clean my house. I want to get naked and look at the library in Oyster. I want to write my daughter and pre address 10 envelopes so I’ll have them ready to rush the letters out to the mailbox. But I’m in here with this girl, and for whatever reason, I know in my heart this is where both of us are supposed to be.

Ever Wondered About Becoming A Groomer?

This wonderful blogger has but into words what I never could when my family members would ask me to teach them to groom. People think it’s easy, that we get to play with dogs all day and have fun. I love how she put both the positive and negative aspects of the trade in her blog. I know for me, the Pros far outweigh the Cons, even on the worst of days. I’m sitting at home, out of work for a week due to broken ribs from falling with a dog in my arms. I didnt want him to be injured so I held him in the air and fell full force on my side on the edge of a tub. It’s hard work emotionally and physically. And for me, it’s the best job in the world.

Wizard of Paws Grooming's Blog - for pet owners, groomers and entrepreneurs.

Ever Wondered About Becoming A Groomer?

Here are some things you should think about, or may not have known.

1. There is such a thing as grooming school and much like human hairstyling school costs money and is generally full time. I consider a thorough course to be six months in length and even after graduating you will be green. This is the most comprehensive method of learning to groom and in my opinion the best. You may be able to get a job bathing dogs and gradually learn to groom but it is unlikely and you would be very lucky! Other ways people learn are online or through books/videos. Personally, I would not recommend these methods of learning.

2. No matter what you do, you can not make everyone happy, but you must always try. There is only one thing customer satisfaction is second to and that is animal…

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Broken Rib Leftover Stew

Yesterday was a day from hell at work. On Sundays I groom in another city so some of my clients don’t have to drive so far. I just started this a month ago. It has potential but I’ve encountered many road blocks along the way.

The lady rented her basement out and assured me it was still ok to groom in the bathroom down there. But on my way there Sunday morning she told me it would be best to do it upstairs. I did not bring my grooming table because I use hers, and she was still asleep when I arrived, I had to groom the dogs on the bathroom counter. It’s a large one and I can hook them to the towel bar, so fine.

There is a huge jacuzzi in the bathroom. I wasn’t getting the light I needed so I climbed up and walked around the rim of the tub to open the curtain. I RAN back because I didnt want the little dog to jump down. I slipped and fell and cracked my back on the rim of the tub. Good times. Finished grooming the rest of the day despite the cracked ribs and all went well. I made 140 bucks. I came home from the hospital today and was starving. I probably wont want to cook while I take the next two days off because I hurt too badly to cook anything that would take a long time soooo

I took out some Pork Bone Broth from the freezer, threw it in a pot with 5 cups of water. Got out my Santoku knife and chopped up any vegetable that may go bad in the next three days, threw that in the pot. Grabbed a handfull of dried pollack fish from the pantry, threw that in the pot. I let it boil. I tasted it. Ick. Got a huge spoon of red pepper paste, watered it down, put that in the pot. Tasted it. Getting better. Grabbed the fish sauce, put a few spashes of that in there….PERFECTION

Daikon Radish, Orange Bell Pepper, Green Onions, Carrot, Bean Sprouts

Sounds nasty but I made it work. Upon digging in the fridge I found a huge pig foot I forgot I bought. Thank god I found it because it was pretty expensive as it supposedly came from a free range farm and fed a diet of non gmo foods etc.

I put that in the slow cooker with some Apple Cider Vinegar to make bone broth while I lie in bed and look at Hulu and try to recover before I go to work Thursday. I dread the hell out of that but Tis The Season to make Christmas Grooming Rush Cash before the January Grooming Lag. I will take time to be in pain in January.

So if you find yourself in a bind and dont have lots of time to cook, bone broth, red pepper paste and fish sauce can make almost anything taste better.

Grooming obese dogs

I’m in the middle of a 4 dog groom. They are the Gone With the Wind Dogs. Rhett, Scarlett, Bonnie Blue an Prissy. The sweetest yorkies and one yorkie poo. The yorkie poo is three times the size she should be and it causes her so much distress. If you have an obese dog it is important to make sure her genitals are hair free and clean. They can have fat folds that trap urine and dirt causing vaginal infection. Once there is infection, there is discharge which builds up and causes dangerous caking of material that worsens the infection leading to other issues like obstruction of full urine flow. If you cant afford a full groom at least find a groomer who will let you pay alacarte for a sanitary shave and a nail trim. These dogs have too much weight on their feet so they exercise less. This causes less natural exfoliation of the nails and their nails are always longer than the average pets. Once the nails curl long enough to tap the ground this causes even more discomfort and makes them want to run around even less. It’s a snowball effect. I want to rant and rave and tell you to put your dog on a diet and get out and walk the poor thing twice a day but life is what it is. People work, people are broke and can only afford Kibbles and Bits sometimes. But if you have the money, have your pet tested for diabetes and get them on a limited ingredient diet that has NO CORN in it. Also, when you take your pet to the groomer tell them to make sure to pull back the fat folds and scrub in there good with a medicated shampoo that kills bacteria and make sure to shave the hair out. They should not be damp whatsoever at all when you pick up. Check the folds and genitals to make sure the groomer did not leave them damp! And at home, after a walk in the rain, dry your pet with the dryer to keep the fat folds dry. This will reduce chances of yeast growth.

Have a blessed day and love your pets

If I hear the neighbor kick his dog one more time I’m going to go over there and hit him over the head with a frying pan. I’m telling you people, it’s pissing me off.