So…This happened today. By some miracle I’m alive and ok. Damnit. Sigh.

No matter how hard this world tries to snuff me, I can not die.

I’ve been stabbed, shot, drowned, buried,abducted and held hostage, survived several wrecks, chased by a lunatic in the prison garment factory with a seam ripper, had my BED set on fire while I was sleeping, held dangling outside a window, beat with a vacuum cleaner,


One could wonder how anything frightens me at all anymore. Snakes, spiders, and men who claim to love me.

That’s what frightens me.


Yes, that’s a hill beside me. I couldn’t see a thing when the hood flew up, it covered the windshield, I pulled over as quick as I could but I felt the tires sliding then the world spinning.

I gave my stick shift car back to the title holder because I couldn’t drive it and, at the time, I didn’t think I’d need it.

I’m not sure what a mobile groomer is gonna do with no car other than fly to CA and prey it works out.

I’m feeling…

A lack of will to live this week

To go from one extreme of happiness to the other so abruptly is not ideal

I am grateful for that joy I had there for a while. In a world where I am accepted and loved because of my abnormality, not despite it. He was….incredible.

I fight the thoughts that whisper to me that I am no longer loveable. Perhaps never was. Fuckable, no doubt. But loveable?

Please Bitch, that glass slipper shattered into a thousand pieces. Now it will never fit.


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