Cant, Wont

I can bend down and sweep up the pieces of my family
I can pick a wild flower and call it home

I can take a mans life in my mother’s honor

I can enter the cave of Prison and come out 9 years later

As hard and beautiful as any diamond

I can do just about anything, in fact

But I cant seem to get past this

Cant, Won’t

 

Ian

My Joker

If you were ever real

You would poke me with your cane and say

“Baby

Why so Serious?”

And I would laugh

and kiss you so hard my mouth would bleed

Fuck you so hard

The planet would implode

Love you so violently

Love you so purely

Ed would give up

 

It is August in my Brick Asylum

Your disenchantment with me is a bobbing head in the ocean

I don’t know for certain, yet, if you will rise again to the surface of my presence

I catch myself holding my breath constantly

If you were ANYONE else I would have turned my back and walked

If you were ANYONE else

I would give up

But I can’t

Won’t

 

As it is now, I scab

and then pick pick pick

Until I fester and ooze longing

 

You are the single cruelest man I have ever had the agony of meeting

And you dont seem to know, or care.

I should write you off as someone who simply never cared at all

Who never meant all the wonderful, terrible things he said

Who never took pictures in his suit just for me

Who never wants to fuck me on a billboard above the rotting masses

Who was reckless enough to use a viper like me as a toy

No, I dont believe it

I cant

I wont

I will pick every wildflower I come across and attempt to jump inside of it in search of you

My home

 

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