I was awoken by the phone at 5:30 in the morning yesterday by mom.
She asked if I’d come pick her up that morning when I did my puppy pickup in town.
One would think I would come up with an excuse, but I couldn’t think of a damn thing to say but ok.
I assumed she’d spend the day and want to go home by evening but she had three bags packed and waiting.
Taking everything in stride I accept the situation. DBT calls it radical acceptance, lol.
I’ve cooked for her and she’s pretty much been alright. It’s not easy watching someone go through detox cold turkey from opiates and psychotropics. She kept overdosing on her pain pills because she takes an entire monts worth in one week and then buys more off the street. Her clinic found out and cut her off, violation of narcotic agreement it’s called.
Yesterday I took the broth from the neckbones I’d been cooking and put some ginseng root in it, some thinly sliced radish, nappa cabbage, garlic, pieces of pork, and baby oyster mushroom. This morning I made porridge and had her drink some Odwalla superfood green juice. Some coconut and chai kiefer. She cant really take in solids yet but so far there’s color to her cheeks and she slept 7 hours last night.
I’m quite floored at what she’s taking herself through without an exact plan or goal. She’s just decided she should take the opportunity to clean out entirely so they can start her out with a fresh slate.
I don’t know if she will stay clean and stick only to what the doctors prescribe when she finds a new pain clinic to treat her. I know we have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow at 2. That’s all I can go on now.
I dont’ have anything eloquent to say this afternoon. There’s no pretty words to describe being numb so as to be in a state of radical acceptance. It is what it is. Don’t you hate that expression? But sometimes that expression is all one has in order to get by.
In the end we have to accept that the parents we have are simply humans who happened to give birth. I am sure my children feel the same way.